People aged 30-39 most likely to say "no" to marriage: survey ( 2004-01-26 17:24) (Xinhua)
Chinese people aged above 30,
especially 30-39, instead of people younger than them, are most likely to say
'no' to their marriage, though many are financially stable and have children to
care for, a survey by a local court showed.
According to the survey made by Beijing's Haidian district people's court in
the past two years, the public's ideas about marriage have changed a lot over
the past two decades as older couples are ready to separate if their marriage
fails their expectations of a happy marital life, while young people become more
cautious about tying the knot.
Among the more than 600 divorce cases surveyed, divorcees between 30 to 40
years of age account for 46.5 per cent in 2003, up9.5 per cent in 1981.
On the contrary, people aged under 30 tend to stay inside the family circle,
with only 6.6 per cent getting divorced in 2003, a big drop from 37 per cent 22
years ago.
"People used to divorce for no reason other than trouble brought about by
family chores in the 1980s. But nowadays, incompatible temperaments or even
discrepancies on certain issues might trigger a family crisis," Li Mei, a judge
of the court, said.
Extra-marital affairs or living in different locations after marriage also
contribute to high divorce rates among people 30-40 years of age, who are
traditionally regarded as middle-aged in China though it might not be true with
the improvement in the people's life expectancy.
In another survey by China Daily in Shanghai, only 5 per cent of 1,000
respondents said they could "accept or forgive" the other side's disloyalty.
The Beijing court's survey also reveals that the changes in the government
socioeconomic policies affect people's attitude toward "remaining a devoted
couple to the end of their lives" as some cannot endure poor life results from
his or her spouse's being laid off from state-owned enterprises during the
country's economic restructuring in recent years.
"Middle-aged people have greatly changed their notions about divorce during
the present social restructuring. Although the majority of them have children,
they give first priority to seeking a happy life," said Xiao Fei, a judge who is
in charge of writing a report based on the survey.
"Once the emotional gap emerging between a couple cannot be bridged, they'll
give themselves one more chance to choose. They will never put up with an
unhappy marriage like older generations," Xiao said.
But many are worried about the social implications behind the high divorce
rate among middle-aged.
"They are the backbone of all walks of life," said Mr. Li, a sociology master
in Lanzhou University. Marital crisis among more and more people of middle age
will bring various problems like children's education and division of family
assets, such as real estate or cars bought by installments.
Divorcees, especially female, are more likely to suffer from psychological
diseases left by the divorce. Besides, remarriage does not stand for a
satisfactory new life.
Li suggested middle-aged to be more tolerant with each other. "Most of the
time people can avoid divorce if they remain calm and patient."
"Marriage has to be carefully nurtured. It needs accommodation from both
sides," he said.
